Fado: Untouchable Culture

Fado has been given World Heritage status by UNESCO. I know that a lot of tree-huggers out there are rejoicing right now, but what does this really mean for the average Joe like you and me?

Firstly, Fado is now a protected species. You cannot hunt down and kill Fado even in open season (which, incidentally, has been abolished world wide since this unilateral move by UNESCO). Should you be found with any Fado scalps in the trunk of your car, from now on you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Apparently the world frowns upon me because I have a gun and I like using it. I can’t hunt Tango. I can’t even hunt Flamenco. God help me and my right to freedom of expression.

But what happens to those Fado in the wild that encounter highly predative species like Rap, like RnB, like Pop? That’s right, out there in the wild Fado is getting creamed. Apart from certain pockets of denser population in places like Lisbon and some other towns along the Portugese coast, Fado is close enough to extinct.

All the more reason to stop hunting them say the greenies. Wrong, I say. All the more reason.

Here’s how it works:

I am a hunter. I kill things with my gun. This – in no uncertain terms – puts pressure on a species. But the question is, what kind of pressure? What I do is that I kill the slow, stupid, low gene value individuals in the population. And in so doing I make the species stronger and reduce the competition for natural resources. This is a win-win situation by any definition.

Then along comes this flunk of suit and tie wearing pussies at UNESCO and decides, incredibly, that it can protect the un-protectable. Will UNESCO be there to stop a RocknRoll feasting on a smaller, weaker Fado? No. Will UNESCO put up the money to fund breeding farms and re-growth programs? No.

So what, exactly, will UNESCO do?

Well, UNESCO will continue to be a useless organisation making meaningless decisions that at best confound any reasonable efforts to make sense of them, and at worst fly in the face of necessity – and all at a ridiculously high price.

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