Practical Sex

We all know that old joke about the difference between sex for men and women: that women need a reason to have sex and men only need a place.

It’s funny because it’s true. More is the pity.

Oh to spy one day the blessed soil of the holy land, even just for a moment, to find a woman who – like me – needs only a modicum of comfort to get it up and shoot it out. So to speak.

Well my brothers, I’m here to tell you that meaningless, opportunistic sex with your partner is possible.

And here is the secret …

CLEANING UP

I kid you not. Forget the mood lighting, the Barry White CD, the champagne and the roses. If cleaning up afterward is easy, it’s on.

Direct quote from my wife, explaining why the bathroom was perfect for the encounter shortly to follow:  “I’m thirty now, I’ve had a child, sex has to be practical, you know how easy it is to hose down these tiles…”

No argument from me. I’m in that bathtub body and soul.

Could this mean you have to knock up your partner before she gets into the spirit of practical sex? Possibly.

Is it really worth it?

Smack yourself in the back of the head … now.

Of course it bloody is.

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