The TRUTH THEY never wanted you to know

I have an admission – and whatever it will cost me to admit it here, I am willing to speak the truth.

I love conspiracy theories.

But more importantly, they seem to love me back. They dive deep into my psyche and play all sorts of games with me and my paranoia and every notion of self reliance that I own. And yet love them I do, and cannot get enough of them.

Last night was a classic example. I was up til three in the morning getting the TRUTH about the destruction of our planet in 2012 – linked with planetary alignement, the brown dwarf sun in the constellation of Leo, earthquakes, floods, ancient prophecy, the reptile shape shifters, the whole, damn, thing …

And I’m there with and open word document noting down the dates and cut and pasting links of the proof all over the Internet (including who really killed Kennedy) and thoughts of that film The Road are coming into my head and I’m wondering if I should buy a gun but they scare the hell out of me so maybe just a hunting knife and how about getting me and my family up to high ground with a few tins of soup and high yield corn seeds you know for planting and just a few books the essentials in case all knowledge is destroyed so where’s that really big one I never read on Shakespeare and the complete lyrics of Nick Cave and what else of course that guide to standup comedy because if it all goes tits up we’ll need a few laughs right …

And then, in that special zone between wakefulness and sleep the speaker – an Australian no less – divulges the TRUTH about the death of all we hold beautiful and sacred in 2012 … it was supposed to happen in 2011.

Well then.

I crept off to the bedroom, feeling rather sullen and sheepish, and my wife rouses just a little and asks, “What, have you been doing?”

Oh, just surfing for porn.”

You’ll go blind, you know.” And rolls off to sleep.

And I believe she might be right.

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One Response to “The TRUTH THEY never wanted you to know”

  1. Wow. Sounds like you did a fair bit of research. I agree, theories and speculations like this really have a certain degree of curiosity associated with them…

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