Archive for humour

Your Body is a Traitor and Needs to be Broken

Posted in rants with tags , on 13/01/2011 by mujo

Your body isn’t your friend – it’s your slave. Keep it on a short leash or forever pay the price.

Fact: the body talks tough, but it’s a pussy. Every tiny departure from it’s strict and absolute ideal is met with a raft of physiological moanings. Continue reading

Kill Plan B

Posted in rants with tags , , on 13/01/2011 by mujo

So you’re a writer working in a bookshop. You’re a painter selling art supplies. A guitarist cleaning floors in a recording studio.

It’s all kinda in the field you wanna break into, but not quite. And not original.

Nasty business all this. Continue reading

The Reason I Love Americans

Posted in food, travel with tags , , , , , , , on 08/11/2010 by mujo

This story starts in Rome. I know, I know, why the dickens is he writing a blog about Americans if he’s in Italy? Have patience, answers come.

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Sport Pissing

Posted in travel with tags , , , , , , on 01/11/2010 by mujo

The wash basin is blocked with toilet paper and cigarette butts, and the tap is dripping something altogether the wrong colour. The toilet bowl is crusted with the crud of a thousand stranger’s rear ends. The stains on the walls are so thick and tactile you would be well within your rights thinking they were the only thing holding up the ceiling.

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Rock Princess

Posted in family with tags , , , on 25/10/2010 by mujo

About two hours ago my daughter trashed her first green room. She’s two years old.

Her mother was giving a concert in this theatre-café not far from where we live. Small place, very small. I think they call it intimate these days. The green room was probably bigger than the stage. And about as clean as I’ve ever seen. Until the apple of my eye hit.

Continue reading